Fatherhood rocks

I’ve been running on 5 or less hours of interrupted sleep every night since Sunday. I’m no stranger to sleep issues and have struggled with my energy levels over the years. In a normal week, this would basically the death of me and I’d be struggling going into the weekend. But this time is different.

They say fatherhood changes everything and it was honestly something that I didn’t fully understand until it happened.

All of a sudden getting up at 6am after sleeping for 2 hours isn’t so bad anymore. There’s a human that needs me and wants to see me.

As quickly as my exhaustion and sleep needs have seemingly disappeared, everything else also feels on pause. I no longer have a burning desire to go out and have a beer with friends. My golf game is an afterthought. Work is away from any priorities now.

Of course, it’s less than week in and things will change. But for now, all I’m excited to do is hang out with my son and spend as much time with him as possible. He’s amazing and I love watching him grow and being his Dad.

Everyone was saying that everything changes when you become a father. They were right and it rocks.

Grateful

Sophia’s water broke at 4:30am Monday morning and we’ve spent the next 72+ hours in the hospital since then. It’s been an adventure to say the least. I’m completely in love with Colin and I couldn’t be happier to be a Dad. We’re taking him home in a couple hours hopefully.

The experience at CPMC has been nothing short of amazing. I wouldn’t say that this is the same as going to a luxury hotel, but in terms of hospital experiences, it was top notch. The facilities are great, but the doctors and nurses here are just amazing.

The nurses here genuinely care about helping you and your baby out. We’ve had multiple nurses come visit Colin after he was born. I’d imagine after working in Labor and Delivery for the many years and delivering hundreds/thousands of babies, they would be over it. That wasn’t the case.

Right now, I’m feeling incredibly grateful. Obviously for Colin and Sophia, but also for everyone and everything that helped bring him to this world. Modern medicine is just absolutely amazing and both Moms and babies have it just that much easier, even compared to when our parents had us.

These next few weeks are going to be challenging in many ways. The sleep deprivation has started and I expect that to continue for a bit. However, this is all worth it. It’s only been a few days, but fatherhood is everything I wanted it to be and more.

Time for a new chapter of liberalism

Like many, I’m upset by the outcome of the 2024 election. To be frank, I have not been particularly impressed by the Democratic party or Kamala, but I do believe Trump is a threat to democracy and stability in the world. Unlike 2016 where perhaps the Democrats and voters underestimated Trump, this election was a resounding victory.

The Republicans won the popular vote for the first time since 2004, have taken control of the Senate, and are set-up for a potential win in the house as well. America has voted and the policies of the (far) left have been rejected.

I had thought 2016 was rock bottom for the Democrats, but I was wrong. It’s clear that the party has a marketing and targeting problem. The simple fact is that the majority of the country vehemently rejects far left policies. It’s easy to paint the Republicans as far right and extreme conservatives, but the reality is that the majority of them are not and are more moderate.

The data is clear. Americans care first and foremost about the economy and immigration issues first.

The cost of groceries matter more to Americans despite the economy actually performing well in the last 4 years. The truth is that for most Americans, life has not gotten better and Trump paints the picture that he can change that. We can save the debate on whether that will happen or not, but this is the reality.

On immigration, the Democrats actually tried to pass a border control bill this past year. However, the damage has been done and the Democrats have been painted as the open border party. Again, we can debate the truth to that but perception perhaps matter more in elections than fact.

The Democrats clearly blew it on the economy and immigration. They also managed to lose a stronghold in tech with notable leaders publicly supporting Trump. The Democratic attack on billionaires has backfired with Kamala’s unrealized gains tax proposal. The Republicans had a hey-day picking on the Democrats and their policies this election. And we wonder how they won with a landslide. The writing was on the wall.

The far left policies of Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren need to be put in the past. I am a liberal, but in this day and age, the Democratic party has just gone too far left for most of America. Simply put, we cannot put in progressive policies that move the country forward if we do not win. Abortion and women rights are incredibly important, but they do not win elections on their own.

It’s clear that we need a change in strategy and thinking. It’s time for Democrats to go through a rebranding. We have the chance to be the party of equal rights with common sense policies that are pro-capitalism. We can build America the right way going forward, but first we need to look ourselves in the mirror.

Welcome to the world, Colin

I am overjoyed right now as we welcomed our newborn son, Colin to the world at 1:30am today. The last 32 hours have been an emotional and mental roller coaster for Sophia and I.

Sophia’s water broke at 4:30am on Monday morning. We had no major signs that he was coming so soon and thought we had another week or two. But that’s not how life works. Thankfully we had everything packed and ready to go and we were admitted to the hospital quickly.

The labor was eventful, but largely according to plan without any major complications. The birthing process is a crazy experience and my wife is a true warrior. I’m not sure if I could have handled that experience the way Sophia handled it.

I spent most of last night and the early morning feeling well a bit weird. It was surreal and almost like a dream that I had a baby son. I think both Sophia and I are in a bit of a daze right now. One thing is for certain though and that’s how much in love with Colin I am. Childbirth is a miracle and I am beyond excited to be a father.

Why we do this

I was annoyed most of the morning. I’m tired after a long week and had to deal with a lot of “inconveniences” this morning. I wasn’t a happy camper even after my morning coffee. As I write this at Noon, my mood has completely reverse as I got a nice reminder of why we do this.

I had a great conversation with a prospect to join the company that was energizing. He made me excited for the new potential hire.

I also had a great conversation with a potential client. Guy is one of the nicest guys I’ve met and just genuinely was excited that Secfi existed as we helped solve his needs.

Lastly, we just closed a deal for a client who is now able to buy his family’s dream home. It was the icing on the cake of a tough week.

Whenever I’m feeling down in the dumps about work in general, I need to remember why we do this. We are making an impact on people’s lives and building a company is the greatest thing you can do in your career, despite the fact that it’s not always fun and games.

Caring about your mission

One of my favorite clients just publicly posted that he left his executive role at a company he’s been at for over ten years. He’s a great person and I’ve gotten to know him well over the last 5 years. We helped with an exercise of his company’s options and the company went through an acquisition that unfortunately was not what was expected.

We have no regrets with our decision or thesis there. It was a great company with an awesome team that hit a rough patch at the wrong time. If I could go back, I would’ve done the same thing.

Despite his equity not working out, he wrote a heartfelt message to his team on the day he officially left. This paragraph really resonated with me:

If I can leave you with one last piece of advice, it’s this: take great care—of each other, our members, and our partners. Care about their needs. Care about listening first. Care about discovering what's right, not who is right. Care about helping. Care about creating value. Care deeply for your part. Care deeper about the whole.

Startups are hard. Most people pour their heart and lives into building their companies. Unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that your company’s equity will work out. However, increasing your equity value is just one piece of the puzzle to why we do this.

These startups build great products that can help millions of people. It’s a good reminder that we shouldn’t just be in it for the equity value, but also for the mission. Otherwise, none of this hard work is worth it.

Reddit

I was excited to see Reddit continue to perform well in the public markets after their IPO earlier this year. The shares rose 40% yesterday on updated guidance and the company announced they hit profitability. They’ve grown 68% from the previous year which is tremendous growth that exceeded our expectations.

Reddit has been one of our favorite companies for awhile both as a user and investor. We first started working with Reddit in 2018 and continued that relationship through the IPO. We doubled down on Reddit last year in their run-up to the IPO.

Some of my favorite clients and people to work with have been Reddit employees so I’m excited for them and their success.

The year-end crunch

We’re all feeling the end of year crunch quite a bit the last few weeks and expect things to pick up even more in the next couple of months. There’s simply just a ton of things that are happening at Secfi right now.

We’re in the process of raising a fund, hiring and training new team members, and planning for 2025 during our already busiest time of the year. And of course, I’m expecting our newborn in the next couple of weeks as well.

I can feel the tension among the team a bit unfortunately as we brace ourselves for a hectic next few weeks ahead. The good news is that the holidays are around the corner which should provide the team a nice break once we get through the worst of it. January is always a good time for us to catch our breaths as well.

In the meantime, there’s no easy fix. Everyone will need to step up a bit. We’ll all need to grind and work together to get through this and ensure that we have a successful Q4 and we have positive momentum going into year-end.

On the positive side - we’re a veteran team at the top who has been through this before. For myself, I know my sanity is going to be based on how well I manage life with the newborn. I plan on fully being present with my family when I take a couple weeks off towards the end of November. To do that, I know I need to grind this next week or two to ensure that the team is in a good place while I take some time off.

Election woes

So far the election has been exactly what I had expected… brutal and depressing at times. As I watched my 49ers celebrate their win against the Cowboys last night on SNF, one of our star players decided to crash a post-game interview with a MAGA hat.

I’m 100% for players speaking up in what they believe in. I’m not in the “shut up and dribble” camp. Professional athletes have a big platform and they should use that platform for what they believe. I’m also not a Trump supporter and have already voted for Kamala.

However, seeing the comments from fellow Niner fans and other sports fans in general just showed how brutal elections are nowadays. We are at a point where supporting a certain candidate has the effect of a large portion of the country hating on that person. Despite me not supporting Bosa’s politic views, I believe that vilifying a person is wrong and counterproductive for us moving forward as a country.

It still hurts me to see how divided the country has become. Elections have become downright nasty and divisive for this country. Whatever happens next Tuesday, I hope that we can start to get back to decency and respect again.

Turning into my Dad

I’ve had a busy and stressful week of work and I’m glad it’s Friday. By the end of most weeks, I’m usually just zapped mentally. I can’t believe just 8 years ago I was accustomed to working 6 and sometimes 7 days a week at times. Lots changes between your mid 20s and your mid 30s.

My wife likes to make fun of me as I slowly transform into my Dad both in looks and personality. I’ve fully embraced becoming a Dad recently. I’ve started saying no to a lot more social events and instead get excited about going baby shopping.

Sitting at a bar drinking all day watching football doesn’t have the same appeal as sitting on my couch all day. I look forward to finding amazing deals in the grocery store and Costco has become my favorite weekend activity.

The Home Depot runs haven’t yet begun but that’s probably because I don’t own a home yet. But I’m sure that’ll start soon in the next few years.

I used to fear getting older. I always thought that my life would get worse after college. Then I thought my life would get worse after my 20s. Thankfully none of that has come true. Sure some things do indeed get worse, but life does getting better. Things change in the best ways and I’m looking forward to these changes in my life.

Growing pains

As Secfi starts to grow again, we’re going through another cycle of growing pains. The old guard of the company is largely gone. Except for a handful of us, the entire company has joined in 2021 or later. They had no gone through the initial growth phases of Secfi.

Hiring, training, and building processes are always some of the most difficult parts of running a startup. We went through a lot of these growing pains in 2019 and 2020. Even for someone who has seen it happen once before, this time is always going to be a new challenge.

My personal take though is that this might be the most rewarding and fun period. We’re back to building again. There’s nothing more satisfying than watching your hard work pay off in results for the company and the team.

I’m excited for the rest of this quarter and next year. Things are never smooth and easy in this phase and I’ll be incredibly frustrating at points. But it’s a challenge that’s worth taking on everytime.

Children and AI

My busy day suddenly is suddenly a lot more open as I’ve had a handful of meetings cancel on me. By no means am I complaining as these open days are nice to sit down and get some work done casually. Going forward, my schedule is just going to get busier so I’m enjoying the time I have now.

On another sad note, I read that a teenager who was an avid user of Character.AI tragically ended his life recently. To my understanding based on what I read on social media, a 14 year old had befriended a chatbot provided by Character.AI based on the character of Daenerys Targaryen.

He had been chatting with AI Dany and had made mentions of potentially taking his life. It’s an incredibly sad situation. There will undoubtedly be a lot of fear spread on the dangers of AI once this starts leaking out to the broader media.

Just like any new potentially addictive technology (see social media), there’s going to be dangers particularly around our children. I don’t doubt that there’s going to be adverse consequences due to AI.

As a soon to be first time parent, this is something I will have to navigate soon. To be honest, I don’t really know the right answer yet in regards to tech. I know it’s my job as a parent to get educated by reading and speaking to people in the know so I can ensure my children have the best chance at a successful life.

Gambling is eating the world

I’ve had a good week mentally and physically. The last few weeks prior were filled with a lot of travel and social events that drained me. I’ve used the last week to get back to a routine filled with good sleep and exercise. It’s no surprise that I’ve been in a great positive mood and my productivity has increased significantly.

On another note - Interactive Brokers rolled out event based contracts on their platform. People can now bet on real-life events like who will win the election. There are a few startups out there like Kalshi and Polymarket that have done this for a few years, but Interactive Brokers rolling this out to their huge userbase is a different animal.

I’m not surprised as gambling has become more mainstream over the last few years. Howard Lindzon describes this trend as the degenerate economy which I think is aptly named. Sports betting is now all over the country and professional sports leagues have gone as far to promote their gambling partners.

Now people can gamble directly on world events through one of the largest brokerages. I expect the other brokerages to soon follow. It won’t be long until popular brokerage apps like Robinhood will allow you to bet on nearly anything with 1 click. Gambling is eating the world.

~4 weeks away from Colin

We’re now about 4 weeks away from our due date. Sophia and I spent pretty much the entire weekend getting ready for the baby. We’ve opted against moving for now given the uncertainty about potentially moving to New York and going to stick around in our apartment for the first few months at least.

As such, Colin’s nursery is going to be in our big walk-in closet. I had originally thought that this was probably not possible, but after reading and speaking to some people, this works out really well for a newborn baby.

Sophia and I cleaned and organized the entire closet. We spent most of Saturday shopping for furniture and came out with a great dresser that can grow with Colin. Needless to say, I feel very adult right now.

We know that we’re in the territory where the baby can come at any time, so we wanted to make sure that we were in this position to be ready and we are.

We are in a great spot and feel ready for the baby. If he came tomorrow, we have everything more or less ready to go. And the next couple of weeks will just be minor preparation to make our lives a bit easier and get a bit more organized.

For me - the next few weeks will be spent getting rest, reading and planning for how to raise this child, and preparing as much as we can for the hectic first couple of months. I know that nothing will really fully prepare us for what’s to come, but I want to be the most prepared I can to make everything as smooth and easy as possible.

I want to make sure Sophia and I make a plan around our sleep schedule and how we will go about sleep training. Getting on the same page and having some semblance of a plan is good for my psyche.

Of course, I know that all sounds great in theory and we’ll be in a struggle regardless. But those frozen packs of bone broth and ready to eat food will go a long way when we’re on day 20 of no sleep.

Modern banking

I opened my first bank account when I was perhaps 12 or so with Washington Mutual. After Wamu became Chase, I stayed on as a customer and have used them as my primary banking for the last 20+ years.

In the last few years, I’ve been expanding our families “financial toolkit”. Sophia and I opened a joint checking account at a neobank. I also dabbled with another neobank to check out the features.

I used my Chase account primarily for the Sapphire Reserve card and my spending. Then would use the joint account for liquid savings targets for Sophia and I. And I used another neobank Yotta for small emergency savings.

While the features at these neobanks were fun at times, e.g. Yotta offered effectively a lottery, the benefits just weren’t there for me to keep those accounts open. I realized that what I wanted was the best user experience and convenience.

Chase will continue to be my primary account, but I’ve also opened a Mercury personal account and a Mercury joint account for Sophia and I. This will consolidate our financial lives into 2 institutions, one legacy player and one neobank.

The Mercury dashboard and app is just fantastic and easy to use. It was clearly designed by well.. tech people and the simplicity of everything there makes me a happy customer to pay the yearly fee.

Sophia and I will use the Mercury joint account for joint expenses and as a way to track our savings goals. I’ll use my Mercury personal account for my emergency cash savings given the higher yield interest I earn there. And I’ll continue to use my Chase account for monthly personal spending.

One click cancel

The FTC announced a new “Click to Cancel” rule yesterday which forces businesses to allow people to cancel subscriptions much easier.

My initial thoughts on this are positive as businesses have just gotten too clever and make it exceedingly difficult to cancel their services that they don’t use. Some businesses have become like a lobster pot, very easy to get into and damn near impossible to get out.

I do think you should be able to cancel a subscription just as easily as you can sign-up for one. But with any new regulation, I hope that things do not go too far and create a lot of unnecessary work for businesses.

I’d imagine that this will impact a lot of startups and they’ll need to make adjustments which will possibly lead to higher churn numbers. It will be interesting to watch and see how things unfold.

Slowing growth rates

This will be a tough year across the board for software sales. There will be of course be some exceptions, but generally the trend was been downwards in the private company space.

A lot of companies we work with and have been exploring have not hit their targets for the year and will be guiding downwards as we start Q4. We’ve adjusted our forecasts and models accordingly as well heading into Q4.

The primary reasons for these slower growth rates is cost cutting across companies. There is simply just less money to spend on software in 2024 than there was 3 years ago. In addition, sales cycles have gotten a lot longer and that has thrown off a lot of forecasts for the year.

There is always hope with Q4 though and we hope that most companies can close out the year strong.

Triaging the opportunities

We’ve gotten a lot more lean and efficient at Secfi over the last two years. While we all wish we had more staff at times, there is a lot of beauty in running a lean ship. Possibly the biggest benefit is that we get to stay focused as a company and team on the best opportunities.

We unfortunately just don’t have time to tackle all opportunities now a days. We have to prioritize and triage the best ones and stay focused on the top. Unfortunately this may mean not taking on some deals and just simply passing on them because we don’t have the time. We can’t work with every company out there.

It’s a trade off that we’re happy to make and wish we would’ve done better during the growth at all cost years. Sometimes deals just aren’t worth the cost and it’s my job as a leader to make sure we’re focusing on only the best opportunities.

Preparing to be a father

I’m finally back home for the foreseeable future after flying back Friday. I spent most of the weekend catching up on life and sleep. Last week was a lot of fun and we got a lot done, but it took a big toll on my body and I’m now battling a cold.

I told my coworkers this and apparently I better get used to it because lack of sleep and being always sick seems to be the norm once you have kids.

On that front, Sophia and I are now scrambling to plan for this kid. While he could technically come at any moment, it becomes much more real in another couple of weeks. So that leaves us about 2 weeks to really get everything as ready as possible.

While we’re in a decent spot, there’s still a lot to be done including putting together his nursery and getting everything organized. Our apartment is a mess right now with boxes and things everywhere. This next 2 weekends will be about getting the apartment in order.

For myself, I’m looking to get rest and get my mentals in order. I want to get back to a good healthy place again after a busy few weeks with quarter end and travel. If things go according to plan, I’ve got one month before my son gets here. That’s one month to prepare for my son but also most important prepare myself.

I still suck at sleeping

It’s been a frustrating week as I learned that I still suck at the whole sleeping thing. After the awful delay and early Tuesday morning arrival, I powered through the evening and got a decent night of sleep despite operating at about 50% brain capacity. We had a great day of meetings on Wednesday and I was hoping to get some good rest so I can be back to 100% today. It was not meant to be as I spent then night tossing and turning.

The frustrating part is that I’ve been doing a good job at taking things easy while I’ve been here. I’ve headed home after dinners with the team and have been back at my hotel at around 10pm every night. Blame the jet lag, hotel life, or stressful week in general… I still struggle mightily to get good rest on these trips.

In the times past, it’s been overdoing the social events. This time I just don’t have a good excuse. I just can’t seem to get consistently good sleep when I travel for work.

It’s frustrating but on the positive side, it’s been worth the exhaustion. It’s always great seeing coworkers and getting good face time. We did a ton of planning for the next few months and quarters ahead. It’s an exciting time to be here at Secfi and despite everything, I’m happy I made it out to NY.