Managing my anxiety

Sophia and I have a wedding in July in Seattle to attend for my good friend. Unfortunately it’s been giving me a ton of anxiety lately. I’m normally a very good planner and start booking things well in advance.

This time, I decided to procrastinate the booking of this trip due to the anxiety of the trip. With Colin, the logistics of the trip is incredibly difficult to manage. We had initially planned to fly to San Francisco and have my parents watch Colin for the weekend while we flew up to Seattle. That plan went out the door as my parents will be out of the country.

As such, we’ve had to pivot and decided to fly to Seattle with Colin. We have to rent a car to drive north a couple hours, and then take a ferry to the islands. We now have to find a nanny on the small island for the evening or Sophia is going to have to stay behind. Then we have to coordinate a ferry back, drive 2 hours to the airport, and then fly back to San Francisco.

This trip would normally be a ton of fun, but with a 8 month year old, it becomes anxiety inducing and it’s been really hard on me. Hence me procrastinating the booking of everything until last night. Of course, last night Delta was having IT issues and I spent over 2 hours trying to get everything booked.

Needless to say, I was stressed last night going to bed and that’s carried over today. My meditation this morning was a good one in that it helped me realize that my mind is in a self-induced spiral due to this trip.

Instead of focusing on the fact that I can take Colin to Seattle where I used to live on an awesome trip and see some of my closest friends, I’ve been thinking about stressful and tiring the trip will be. Yes the travel part will be somewhat stressful, but in reality, it won’t be the end of the world. We’ve flown long distances with him and been fine. He’s been a trooper.

I really need to do a better job changing my mindset around when it comes to these things. I think this all stems from the stress of the move last month that really put me in a hole. Yes travel can be stressful, but most of that stress is caused by my own mind.

We have an incredibly trip planned to fly to Seattle at a gorgeous time of the year. We’re staying with some of our closest friends for a couple nights who also have a kid. Then we get to take an awesome ferry to Lopez Island where I will get to see more of our close friends. Long travel day aside, we’ll be back at my parents house in San Francisco where Colin was born and get to relax that week seeing more close friends and family.

That feels a lot more exciting now.